


Interplanar Interlude

by lupre



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Campaign: Graduation (The Adventure Zone), Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Karaoke, Mentor!Lup and Barry because I said so, Mostly Canon Compliant?, Set around episode 28/29/30, The Adventure Zone-Typical Swearing, dinner party setting, i actually hate karaoke a lot so im not sure why i wrote this, spoilers for up to episode 28!!!! maybe a little of 29 and 30 too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupre/pseuds/lupre
Summary: Two spectral figures emerge from the kitchen, one after the other. They’re enshrouded in a black mist and wearing flowing dark robes, with the hoods pushed back to reveal eerie skeletal faces.“Dinner is ready,” one of them hisses in a deep, hoarse voice that makes even the mundane phrase sound like an ominous pretense of death.And then, almost simultaneously, they drop their spectral forms. Directly across from Fitzroy is a tall elven woman with wavy blonde hair and warm brown skin, and a pale, stocky man with tousled sandy hair, wearing a pair of wire-frame glasses.“Hot damn, this stuff smells so fucking good," the elven woman says.—In which Fitzroy's strategy meeting with Rainer and her extended family becomes an opportunity for a much-needed break from saving the world.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans & Lup, Master Firbolg & Argo Keene & Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt & Gordy, Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt & Rainer
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	Interplanar Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! so ive never posted on ao3 before and im not sure if people will actually, like.. see this if i just sort of throw it out into the ether, but whatever. this is obviously based heavily around the headcanon that barry and lup are rainer's grandparents & rainer calls them in to help fitzroy. also i would NOT recommend reading if you're not caught up to at least episode 28 of graduation. there will be general spoilers!! i think that's it?? have fun i guess? xoxo

Fitzroy hasn’t been this nervous since he was interviewed by Althea Song. 

He’s staring at himself in the mirror, trying to decide if his outfit really says “I’m totally cool with necromancy and not freaked out at all by this entire setup.” He’s wearing a sweeping black cloak — always a good start — with golden clasps and trim, along with assorted gold bangles and rings. Beneath the cloak there’s a shimmering berry-colored silk shirt and black dress pants. Maybe the black is too much? Rainer is a necromancer, and she usually wears pastels. 

He reaches up to the top of the mirror where he keeps his wire-frame glasses and slides them onto his face for a better look. Of course, since there are no lenses in the glasses, he looks exactly the same. 

“Fitzroy, you will be fine,” comes a deep, richly accented voice from behind him. He turns to see the Firbolg standing quietly, appraising his outfit with the keen, careful gaze that Fitzroy has come to appreciate after months of living with him. “Rainer… is… a close ally. It is important to make sure her family is also on our side.” 

Oh, boy. Fitzroy sighs a little. “Sure. Absolutely. But, uh, kinda sucks that they have to be liches, huh? Cause I’ve seen what Rainer can get up to with a couple of loose skeletons, and it makes me think the rest of the fam has probably got some… some wacky bone tricks up their sleeves.” 

“Ding-dong _ , _ ” says Gary. This is one of Fitzroy’s least favorite Gary functions — whenever someone is about to enter the dorm, he says “ding-dong” in his regular Gary voice instead of actually making a bell sound. 

The door swings open, and Argo Keene backs inside with his arms full of styrofoam cartons. He’d been sent on a mission to get into the cafeteria, collect as much food as he possibly could, and bring it back for himself and the Firbolg’s dinner. It’s only been about fifteen minutes, but Argo is apparently more adept at using his rogue skills to steal food than he is at sneaking around dungeons or picking locks. “Firbolg buddy, I’ve got some real treats here,” Argo announces, setting the containers down on their flimsy wooden table. 

The Firbolg peeks inside one of the containers. “You did not bring berries.” 

“Well, no, we usually get those from the crepe station, and Gray took it away — ”

“Is just limes and fish jerky.”

“And blood pudding! Did you see the blood pudding?” 

“I will not eat this.”

“ _ Argo _ ,” says Fitzroy desperately. “Can I get a quick outfit rating? Just a little, like, card with a number on it or something? I don’t know if you remember but I’ve got this  _ thing,  _ with  _ Rainer,  _ and her entire _ lich family… _ ”

Argo stares at him for a moment. “You look like a regular fancy lad. You always look like a fancy lad, Fitz. Why are you so worried about this?” 

“Oh, nothing, it’s just that if I screw up they could potentially turn my whole bone situation into mush, or sort of decompose my fleshy mortal form, or possibly yank my soul right out of my body, but, you know. No biggie.” Fitzroy rolls his eyes. “See you guys later, I guess.” 

“Good luck,” the Firbolg tells him, already heading for the secret berry stash he keeps in his room (old habits die hard, apparently). 

“Knock ‘em dead, boy-o,” Argo says, and then laughs at his own pun. 

— 

Fitzroy meets Rainer by the summoning circle under the big tree. She’s already done the necessary spellwork, making the runes on the ground glow, and she seems as excited as Fitzroy’s ever seen her. “Hey, Fitzroy! Ready for dinner?” 

“Yep, totally. Um, you’re going first, right? Like there won’t be a ten-second delay where I’m just sort of standing in Gordy’s undead Crypt domain by myself, like when we had the job interview thing?” 

“Sure, I can go first,” Rainer says cheerfully. “Remember the word is devocho. You can just step in there right after I go. Also, just a heads-up, my grandparents have traveled a pretty long way to be here. Like, the traveling was instantaneous, but they’re still from way, way far away, and by that I mean they’re from a completely different plane. So just try to be… you know, respectful, I guess?” 

“Cool, cool, cool. That information makes me feel super good and not nervous at all.” Fitzroy stands back as Rainer floats her chair into the center of the summoning circle, lights a candle, speaks the verbal component, and disappears in a cloud of green smoke.

He takes a minute to catch his breath — watching someone vanish into thin air is even more unsettling than he’d imagined. Gordy seemed like a nice guy the last time they met, but things in the Crypt could still go south really quickly, and he’s not even sure how to be prepared for that. He steps into the circle, lights a candle, and says, “Devocho.” 

Everything goes black. 

— 

When he regains consciousness, he’s standing next to Rainer in the stone room where he met Gordy last time. Gordy himself is nowhere to be seen, but Fitzroy can hear soft noises of conversation and dishes clanking coming from an archway that leads to an adjacent room, presumably the dining room. 

“Oh. So the whole sort of harrowing puzzle dungeon experience I went through last time was totally unnecessary, huh? I could’ve just beamed in here from the very beginning?” Fitzroy asks, looking around. 

“Geez, he made you do the giant pit and mysterious key routine?” Rainer grimaces. “I really am sorry about that. I keep telling him he needs to get some new, fun puzzles, like maybe just a quick round of Sudoku, but he’s really into the spooky lich king branding, I guess.” 

“I mean, it’s fine, just… wait, hold up. Sudoku is your idea of a fun puzzle?” 

Just then, Gordy pokes his head out of the archway. He’s in his human form, and he’s wearing a big smile and a purple robe. “Hey, kids! Come on in, Rainer’s grandparents are almost done with dinner.” 

Rainer gives Fitzroy an encouraging thumbs-up and then heads towards the dining room. He follows more slowly, patting down his hair and adjusting his bangles as he goes. 

Upon entering, Fitzroy realizes it’s really more of a dining hall. It looks like a typical medieval castle setup, with an enormous long table and a fire roaring in a hearth at the far end of the room. To his right, there’s another door leading into a large kitchen. He’s tempted to peek inside it for a preliminary glimpse of Rainer’s grandparents, but he figures that would probably be rude and kind of a weird vibe to start off the evening. 

Gordy is striding purposefully towards the opposite end of the table, where he takes his seat at the head of the table. Rainer sends her chair whizzing down the hall at an impressive pace and then positions it on the right side of her dad’s gilded throne, where there’s an empty spot with no chairs. 

Fitzroy assumes he’s meant to sit all the way down there with Rainer and her father — it will certainly be awkward if they’re planning to keep him at the opposite end of the table, although he couldn’t blame them given his history with explosive magic — and walks down an ornate rug past several stained-glass windows, a few candelabras, and one enormous painting of what he can only assume is Rainer’s entire extended family. He wishes he could stop and examine that, too, but Rainer is raising her eyebrows at him expectantly, and he’s afraid he’s already committed some sort of royal dinner faux pas. 

Reaching the far end of the table, he ducks down to whisper to Rainer, “Is it cool if I sit next to you?” 

She seems surprised that he’s even asked. “Yeah, of course.”

He sits. The cushion is made of some sort of slippery fabric that wants to dump him right out onto the floor, so he scoots all the way back, but then he’s too far away from the table.

“Here, let me help — ” Rainer floats her own chair behind him and gives the back of his seat a quick shove, scraping it along the floor. Now he’s trapped, sort of, in a position with ramrod-straight posture and his knees almost bumping up against the bottom of the table. Great. 

Gordy leans forward and rests his chin in his elbows. “Fitzroy, are you into appetizers?” 

“Um… yeah! Yeah, I love a good app. I do want to just warn you, I am allergic to  _ a lot  _ of things, so, uh, it’s totally fine if I can’t… actually… eat some of the stuff you have here.” 

“That’s not a problem!” Rainer pipes up. “Dad’s got a list of all the things you rejected last time, and my grandma is really good at cooking, so she’s always prepared for any dietary restrictions.”

Fitzroy is speechless for a second. Turning to Gordy, he asks, “You made a  _ list?”  _

“Yeah, I have a terrible memory for stuff that happened while I was alive, and a great memory for everything that’s happened while I’ve been a lich. One of the perks of being undead, I guess. No cranberries, chocolate, or fish that isn’t cod, right?” As he’s speaking, a pair of skeleton assistants emerges from the kitchen carrying trays of bread rolls and a couple of bottles of sparkling seltzer. They make their way over to the fireplace end of the table and set their cargo down in front of Gordy, Rainer, and Fitzroy. 

“That’s… yeah, that’s right. I mean, there are a lot of other things, but still, pretty impressive. And I can eat these rolls.”

Gordy smiles. “I try to be as accommodating as possible. So, Rainer tells me you’ve abandoned your plans for war?” 

“Uh, yep. My corporation, Thundermen LLC, has new plans to destroy the entire system this world is based on. So… things are pretty wild, I would say.” No one has grabbed a bread roll yet, and Fitzroy isn’t sure if he’s allowed to eat before the Lich King does. For all he knows, they might have to say a special necromancer prayer. 

Gordy strokes his chin. “I’m glad to hear someone is attempting this. But you know this is a huge goal to undertake, Fitzroy. I’m not even sure if my help will be enough.”

“That’s why Rainer’s grandparents are here, though, right?” Fitzroy asks cautiously. 

As if on cue, two spectral figures emerge from the kitchen, one after the other. They’re enshrouded in a black mist and wearing flowing dark robes, with the hoods pushed back to reveal eerie skeletal faces. Each of them is holding an enormous covered silver tray. While they float down the hall, Fitzroy feels a creeping sense of cold dread settle over him, although he can’t be sure whether it’s from the liches’ necromantic auras or his own fear. 

_ “Dinner is ready,”  _ one of them hisses in a deep, hoarse voice that makes even the mundane phrase sound like an ominous pretense of death. The two liches set down the platters of food and then take the first two seats on Gordy’s left.

And then, almost simultaneously, they drop their spectral forms. Directly across from Fitzroy is a tall elven woman with wavy blonde hair and warm brown skin, and a pale, stocky man with tousled sandy hair, wearing a pair of wire-frame glasses that actually have lenses in them. Neither of them look anywhere close to grandparents-age, although Fitzroy realizes he probably should have expected that, since they’re undead.

“Hot damn, this stuff smells so fucking good,” the elven woman says as she reaches across the table, lifting up one of the silvery lids to reveal a plate of seafood and meat skewers, drizzled with a reddish-gold glaze and settled in a bed of soft white rice and roasted vegetables. “No shade to Taako, but I think I might be the best cook in the world.” 

The man grabs the other lid in one hand, uncovering a casserole dish with some decadent-looking mac n’ cheese, and reaches out to shake Fitzroy’s hand with the other. “I’m Barry Bluejeans, you can call me Barry, and this is Lup. I hear you’re lactose intolerant? We used lactose-free cheese for this.” 

Fitzroy finds his hand being pumped up and down in a rough but distinctly warm grip. He stutters, “Uh, yeah, wow, okay. I haven’t had a lot of mac n’ cheese in my, uh, days on this earth, so this should be interesting.” 

“Oh, you poor, sweet young soul. You’re going to flip your shit. This is not just any mac n’ cheese, it is the best mac n’ cheese in the planar universe,” Lup announces. “It has lobster in it, a broiled crust, and five different types of cheese. And you’re probably thinking we left the lactose in at least one of those cheeses, just as sort of a fun prank, but I can promise we didn’t.” She starts dishing huge portions of food onto a plate and hands it to Fitzroy. 

“We figured comfort food was a good idea, cause it sounds like you’ve been through hell,” Barry adds. 

“Yeah, one time I did literally travel through hell, so… pretty spot-on, I guess.” Fitzroy finds his voice rising without his permission. He  _ has  _ been through a lot, and although Rainer’s grandparents are proving much more laid-back than he expected, there’s still something powerful in the way they carry themselves, a hidden layer of steel lying beneath the surface that makes him think they might be able to help. 

Around a mouthful of steak, Rainer says, “Grammy and Gramps, Fitzroy needs our help with dismantling the elitist and deeply flawed capitalist society that Nua’s been suffering under. Also I think he could use some tips on magic.” 

“Hey, while we’re at it, lemme get the recipe for this mac n’ cheese,” says Fitzroy, figuring if he’s gonna go all out with this impossible list of requests, he might as well  _ go all out.  _

Lup and Barry exchange a glance. “Okay, well, first of all, Rainer,” Lup says, “you know I love you more than life and death itself, but you’ve  _ got  _ to cheese it with the Grammy and Gramps shit, no pun intended. It makes me feel so fuckin’ weird.” 

“I’m fine with Gramps,” Barry interjects. “Actually I feel kind of like my whole life has been directing me towards the moment when I become a Gramps. Like a denim-wearing phoenix rising from a bed of flame.” 

Rainer nods. “Yeah, that tracks.”

“We will absolutely help you, Fitzroy,” says Barry. “Now, we’re fairly busy doing stuff for the Raven Queen, so don’t expect us to just sort of go on a grand tour of Nua and kill all the bosses or whatever, but there are certain resources at our disposal.” 

Lup bites into a roll and chews it thoughtfully. “Also, we should probably explain right off the bat: while we’re working for the old RQ, and by that I do mean the supreme goddess of night and death who governs the Astral Plane, we aren’t allowed to use our plane-hopping rift magic to transport, like, armies or warriors or fighting-inclined beasts or pretty much any large groups of people. And not for lack of trying — ”

“ — It just goes against the code of conduct.” Barry offers an apologetic smile. “I’m sure you understand.” 

“Uh, babe, you did just interrupt me very rudely. I was going to tell Fitzroy about that time we tried to Trojan Horse our entire family into the plane of fire — ”

“ — MMMM, mm mm mm. Lup, I don’t think we should — ”

“No, we can trust Fitzroy, he’s totally cool. Right, Fitz?”

“Oh,  _ sure _ .” Fitzroy does his best to appear trustworthy, which mostly just means he folds his arms in front of his chest and arranges a reassuring smile on his face.

“It was a mechanical replica of Lup’s brother,” Barry mumbles under his breath.

“Yeah, we  _ did  _ try to sneak into the plane of fire inside a giant robot shaped like a person who had already been banned from the plane of fire.” Lup points her fork at Fitzroy. “In retrospect, that was fuckin’ stupid. But my dumbass twin Taako really wanted a Taako-shaped mech, so… actually, now that I think about it, that sneaky son-of-a-bitch might have cast Charm Person to convince us of his shitty plan.”

“Boy, you sure are good at cursing, though,” Fitzroy comments before he can stop himself. “Like, maybe not the best at interplanar subterfuge, but that  _ cursing  _ is on point.”

“Hell yeah it is.” Lup grins and then suddenly looks worried. “Wait, is it making you uncomfortable? Are you one of those people who doesn’t like cursing?”

“Uh, no! No, I — I  _ effff _ ing love cursing. Aw, beans. I really tried on that one. But yeah, I’m definitely good at swears.” Fitzroy shoves some macaroni into his mouth to avoid embarrassing himself any further. 

“Haven’t got the hang of it quite yet, huh? You’ll get there, little man,” says Barry kindly.

“Little  _ bastard,  _ you mean,” Lup suggests. “I’m thinking we give this kid some… some hella good ass immersion therapy. Actually, wait, that one wasn’t very good at all. Ignore that one. Just wipe it from your brain.” 

“It’s okay, you’re already helping me enough, you don’t need to give me free therapy too. Also, d —  _ iiiicks.  _ Bag of dicks. I’m fine, see?” 

“No, that was fucking awful,” says Gordy.

“Okay.” Fitzroy takes a deep breath. “ _ Anyways,  _ I was going to say, I don’t really need an army or anything like that? Last time, I came here thinking I was going to have to fight a war, but now I’m working with the demon guy I was planning on fighting against.” 

“Ooh, twist.” Lup bites a piece of cod off one of the skewers violently.

“So what I mostly need help with is a plan to destroy the Heroic Oversight Guild, which is the organization that pulls the strings on heroes and villains and keeps them within their specific roles.” 

“Well,  _ they  _ sound like a giant bag of dicks,” says Barry. 

“Yep. We were thinking maybe… blowing up their archival records building would be a good place to start?” Fitzroy offers. He doesn’t know why he wants these two liches’ approval so badly — he’s going to destroy the archives whether or not they’re on board. But Barry and Lup are so completely different than he expected. They might be the only authority figures he’s ever trusted on instinct, although he knows his perception is pretty much dog dookie, so it’s still possible they’re lying about wanting to help. 

Lup gets a wicked gleam in her eye and puts down her fish skewer. “You want to blow something up?” 

“Uh-huh…” 

A dangerous smile spreads across her face. “I’ve got a few ideas that could help with that,” she says, and both of her hands ignite in flame.

Barry’s robe catches fire. 

“Oh, _shit!_ ” he yells. “Babe, what the fuck? What have we said about evocation in close proximity to loose fabric? Oh, God, it’s spreading, Jesus fuckin’ Christ — ”

In a blind panic, Fitzroy casts Create Water. Ten gallons of water materializes above Barry’s head and crashes down over him, thoroughly drenching him and putting out the fire.

Rainer claps like she’s watching a staged performance. “Oh my God, Fitz! You cast a spell! You’re cut off from your magic daddy and you still cast it!”

“Magic… daddy?” asks Lup slowly, like she’s still processing the fact that her bad-A pyromancy trick was kind of a bust. 

“Uh, yeah, I used to get my magic straight from the physical manifestation of the force of chaos in this world, which was pretty wack, and now I basically get it from Michael’s secret stuff, or the beautiful wellspring of power that’s been inside me all along, which is… if anything, more wack. Like, I  _ was  _ a sorcerer, and I was just sort of getting used to that whole deal, and now I’m not even sure what I am anymore? I might be a  _ wizard? _ But I guess it’s good that I was able to cast that spell.” Fitzroy deliberately avoids making eye contact with Barry, who’s now dripping onto the plush carpet and picking at his waterlogged plate of food. 

“It sounds like we’ve got a lot of work to do,” says Gordy. Understatement of the year. “But, Fitzroy, my parents are really rad. I think we can definitely nail down a course of action by the end of the night, and in the meantime, you need a break.”

Fitzroy looks blankly at him. “A what?” 

“You need to take the world’s biggest chill pill,” Rainer supplies. “You’ve been defeating monsters, attending school full-time, fighting a demon prince, trying to outsmart a literal force of nature, and also run an entire corporation. If you don’t relax, you’re going to snap, and I do  _ not  _ want to be there when that happens.” She pours some sparkling seltzer into Fitzroy’s glass and mutters, “I’m not interested in becoming a bottom-feeding freshwater fish.” 

“Okay, I heard that, and the catfish thing was  _ one time.  _ One time!” Fitzroy leans back in his chair. He’s not sure what to do with the idea of relaxation. Are they suggesting he take a trip to the spa? Because, well, actually, that doesn’t sound all that bad. He could use a fresh coat of nail polish and a rejuvenating mud mask. 

“Oh, I know what this is.” Barry jumps up from his seat and casts Gust, manipulating the wind to wring his robe out onto the floor. “We’re doing Fantasy Karaoke.” 

— 

This is how Fitzroy finds himself belting out the lyrics to Call Me Maybe in front of an audience of necromancer hype-men and -women. Rainer has a, frankly, ridiculous high score, and even if he has to drink a thousand cups of honey lemon tea to get his voice back in the morning, he’s going to beat it. 

_ Your stare was holding / ripped jeans, skin was showin’ / hot night, wind was blowin’ / where you think you’re going, baby? _

Fitzroy spins around and invents a little dance with a lot of kicking involved. Gordy is snorting with laughter in the background, probably because he can’t appreciate Fitzroy’s artistic genius. 

_ Hey, I just met you / and this is crazy _

Fitzroy realizes as he gets to the chorus that his smooth golden tenor might not actually be high enough for some of these notes. Whatever. He charges forward anyways, reassured by the knowledge that Lup is shouting the lyrics along with him loud enough that no one will be able to tell if he messes up. 

_ But here’s my number / so call me maybe _

As he finishes out the song, caught up in the euphoria of the moment, Fitzroy takes off his cloak and tosses it to Rainer like she’s an adoring audience member. And he hasn’t even come close to beating her high score, and there are only four people clapping for him, but the applause is deafening. 

“Thank you, thank you.” He ducks out of the way of the lyric screen, passing off the microphone to Barry, and walks over to Rainer. “Uh, I’m actually going to need that cloak back.” 

She laughs and hands it to him as Barry launches into a gravelly rendition of Mr. Brightside. Fitzroy wraps the cloak around his shoulders and takes his seat between Rainer and Lup. 

While Barry sings his heart out with very little positive results, Lup nudges Fitzroy with her elbow. “Hey. You know it’s fine if you’re a wizard, right? It’s not any harder than being a sorceror. You’ll be okay either way.”

Fitzroy looks at his boots. He  _ wants  _ to believe her, he really does. But his magic has always felt like a beast he doesn’t know how to tame, not so much a part of him as a thing he has to fight. He doesn’t know how to be the kind of effortless caster who can make a Gust spell wrap itself around a piece of clothing, or light his hands on fire without burning them. “Thanks.”

Lup glares at him. “I’m serious. That Create Water spell was impressive. And I’m hundreds of years old, Fitzroy. I know a talented magician when I see one. You’re gonna get through this, I promise _. _ ” 

This time, Fitzroy lets himself sink into the idea that what she’s saying could maybe, possibly be true. It’s… nice. “That’s — hey, that’s really kind of you to say. Do you want a piece of hot mint gum?”

She widens her eyes. “Are you kidding me? Fuck yeah! I love hot mint gum!” 

Fitzroy has to suppress a smile. He still has so much to do, but for now, he’s here, and he’s safe, and he’s happy. 

And whatever this is — whatever strange camaraderie has sprung up between himself and Rainer’s folks in a matter of hours — it feels an awful lot like family. 


End file.
